|(Origionally sent to me by an(other)
old, gray biker, modified in places as I'm sure others have, but origional
author(s) unknown.) Coyote
bugs taste best
Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but
they CAN hold everything you need.
Wear Heavy Boots. You can't kick
things when you're wearin' sneakers.
NEVER argue with a woman holding
a torque wrench.
If you're a complainer, ride at the back of the pack
so you won't contaminate the rest of the group.
Never try to race an
Old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.
The size of the piston
don't tell you nothin' about the depth of the stroke.
Home is where
your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the
You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than
two fingers on the front brake.
Routine maintenance should never be
It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share
The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
be afraid to slow down.
Only bikers understand why dogs love to stick
their heads out car windows.
Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their
Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to
If it take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably
Anything that shows up on more than 2 bikes is a fad.
that you will be judged by the horse you rode in on.
Don't ride so
late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
Pie and coffee
are as important as gasoline.
The number of kicks it takes to start
your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.
want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals, you
may even have to shave.
Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees
you'll ride alone.
Never hesitate to ride past the last street light
at the edge of town.
Never mistake horsepower for staying
A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does
a good lover.
A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping
it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.
Never do less then forty
miles before breakfast.
If you don't ride in the rain...you don't ride.
bike on the road is worth two in the shop.
Respect the person who has
seen the Dark side of motorcycling and lived.
Young riders pick a destination
and go... old riders pick a direction and go.
Overconfidence can be
supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of wrenches, and a roll of toilet
Never offer to fight an Old Geezer. If you win, there's no glory.
If you lose, your reputation is shot.
A good wrench will let you watch
without charging you for it.
Advice is free...and worth every penny.
the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
your scoot into the curb...and sit where you can see it.
Work to ride;
ride to work.
Whatever it is, it's better in the wind.
Two lane blacktop
isn't a highway; it's an attitude.
When you look down the road,
it seems to never end...but you better believe it does.
A biker can
smell a party 5,000 miles away.
Winter is Mother Nature's way of telling
you to polish.
A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.
your bike in good repair; motorcycle boots are NOTcomfortable for
People are like motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
races are won in the tavern than on the track.
Never loan your bike
to someone else, and never ride another's.
If the bike ain't braking
properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
a giant game of Mine's Bigger Than Your's!
Remember to pay as much
attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.
reflexes are quicker than luck.
Good coffee should be indistinguishable
from 50 weight motor oil.
The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday
save your butt.
The twisties-not the superslabs-separate the bikers
from the squids.
Beware the biker whose ink peels off.
New leather don't
When you're riding lead don't spit.
If you really want
to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead.
make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and
locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.
friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup
to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
changes her oil more than she changes her mind...follow her.
are two types of bikers: those who have dropped their bike,
and those who are going to.
The thicker your oil, the hotter you can
Catchin' a june bug at 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every
There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
always hear a classic open primary-it sounds like $1.34 in change
is loose in the friction plates.
Hunger can make even road kill taste
You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling,
and dumb enough to think the game's important.
Don't lead the pack
if you don't know where you're goin'.
Chrome won't get you home, but
it might get you a warm bed.
If you leave without one of your group,
you better hope he doesn't catch up at the next stop.
Sleep with one
arm through the spokes and keep your pants on.
Practice wrenching on
your own bike.
Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some
Three things can't be trusted: a fart, a cook, and a rear view
Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down.
run on 99-octane ego.
Owning two identical bikes is useful because
at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.
she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike. Don't
do it and she'll love you even more.
Never argue with an 18-wheeler.
lean on the horn 'til you're out of danger. Then blast it for all
Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.
is as much art as it is science.
A good long ride can clear your mind,
restore your faith, and use up a lot of gasoline.
If the countryside
seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the ditch long
enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.
can't get it goin with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.
you ride like there's no tomorrow-there won't be.
Any wreck you can
walk away from is a good one.
Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried
If you want to complain about the pace being set by the
road captain, you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.
bikers don't get that way from pure luck.
There are old bikers and
there are bold bikers, but there are NO old, bold bikers.
need no steenkin' weekend warriors.
Thin leather looks good in the
bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go down.
modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
Always replace the cheapest
You can forget what you do for a living when your knees
are in the breeze.
No matter what marque you ride, it's all the same
It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run. One is
not more important than the other.
The wearing of patriotic items on your biker clothes does'nt make
you a patriotic American. Visiting a Vet in a nursing home or
hospital, or attending a fallen soldiers funeral does.
don't stop riding because you grow old; you grow old because you stop